Tension

I went to lay in bed last night very agitated. My teeth cringed and my chest tight as I took shallow breaths. Birdie rehearsal was ok. I had coffee and ate milk duds like no ones business. We learned the Overture number (backwards in musical time)
[Bieber->NSYNC->Vanilla Ice->Michael Jackson->Disco->Jimmy Hendrix->Beach Boys/Gogo->Beatles->Elvis->Conrad Birdie]
Yeah you wish you were coming to this Bye Bye Birdie. If you are, then good for you :)

Anyway 4 hours of dancing made me want to die. So I come home and relax for a bit and then found myself very frustrated. I was all the sudden filled with tension. So I posted this: http://gabrielledavison.tumblr.com/post/4572872635/sometimes-i-get-really-frustrated-i-cringe-my 

I decided that I was too tired for being ticked off and went to lay in bed and have Jesus time. God and I talked for a while and I expressed my frustration. Its so stupid. I realize that my feelings should not be so big towards this "issue" that isn't really an issue at all! I'm a female. Holy Crap! I have ridiculous out of this world feelings that sometimes... most of the times are thrown out of proportion... it doesn't help that I am a actress either.

So I laid there and prayed that God would forgive me for my anxious heart and spirit. That He would calm my mind and heart together. It's not easy. Sure I slept through the night, but this prayer is to remain at a constant right now because I find myself easily ticked off today. Especially when I got to my first class this morning. Oh ... yeah... that was fun ... ::sarcasm:: Wow... I'm really hittin all those unpleasant feelings today. But you know what...  better is He that sees my heart and being, yet still loves me.

Romans 3:5 But if our unrighteousness brings out God’s righteousness more clearly, what shall we say?

How much better the beauty of Christ when in the midst of our own fault we can see His glory. So I am seeing His glory today. I am holding out through this rough spot. Listening to what is uplifting and wholesome. Killing my own sin with kindness. 

Oh Lord, that you may transform my worst of times to be uplifting and whole. That this day may be of much worth and growth to this hungry woman's heart. Release this inner strife and bring new life.

 Amen.