Waiting Patiently

“The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” 2 Peter 3:9 NIV

If you think about it… our lives are but the smallest fragment of time. When it comes to waiting I can be super impatient. Normally this happens when I am excited about something (an event). I cannot wait till friday… but the rest of this week doesn’t care about how I feel, it is going to take the same amount of time to get to friday from today as it always does.
After learning some hard lessons of life I have observed that some things are worth waiting for. We may think that our timing is what is best for us, but, ultimately it is God’s timing that is perfect. I am thankful for the lessons I have learned in having patience. These lessons have brought me discernment and wisdom in times when I needed to settle my heart.
I am in the process of finding promises God has made in my life, and I am claiming them. Seeing these promises as truth. This is when the tough part comes in. Training my heart and spirit to not become anxious. The thing that reassures me most is the fact that I know God’s timing is perfect and I will be overjoyed when the times come when He fulfills those promises.
The Lord will reassure me in my weakness and grow me to hold out for another day, week, month, or year.
I’m super stoked :)
Thank you Lord for being patient with me and my anxious heart. Forgive me for doubting your will and timing; for my pride in thinking my way is best for me. I will wait. This is my desire: to be used by You.

This is My Desire to be Used by You

Run & Hide

Some days I just want to run away. I want to hide. & who am I hiding from? I am hiding from myself. There are times in life where I need to pull myself away from everything it knows and settle somewhere peaceful... under the wings of God. I am so ADD sometimes that I get distracted from what I should be doing and I do something else. It's selfish really. My relationship with the Lord is "indispensable." There is no other relationship with any being that is such. Sure, when you get married that relationship becomes even more indispensable, but, if that bond is broken (death, divorce... etc.) the person is not indispensable themselves... but rather their essence is indispensable. Who they were, & their impact on our lives is something of worth that can never be replaced. It brings me back to scripture talking about "storing up our treasures in heaven and not on earth." I find myself in need from my friends rather than coming to the Lord in prayer. Trust needs to be put in Gods hands. So as I run from myself and learn from myself & grow... I pray I can gain wisdom and strength to press through the challenges of life.

Day 7: We are a Family full of Drama

I have been acting since I was around 7 years old. I started out in our churches productions where I was a servant to one of the three kings or a child follower of Christ. From there I was inspired in 4th grade. Mr. Michael Bailey was such an inspiration to me. He was a theatre teacher at the local HS. I saw a production there and decided then that acting was what I wanted to do. So middle school comes around and I find myself filling my time with basketball and theatre. When I reached High School I was placed in a newly opening HS called Guyer High. I joined theatre and basketball my 1st year. Funny thing is that the theatre was designed by Mr. Bailey himself. He made sure that our theatre had everything and anything we could need. Electronically run fly space! Oh yeah! Sadly the second weekend of our 1st opening production Mr. Bailey passed. It was a time of grief and mourning for everyone in Denton, TX. All the theatre depts were heavy for the sister school and its family of thespians. I had just seen Mr. Bailey that weekend when he passed. He came into the theatre to visit and told us he would be joining us for a show coming up. Sadly he did not.
This time was one of the most important times in my life. I found what was most important to me, my theatre family. We cried together, laughed together and held one another. It made us stronger. From time to time I remember Michael Bailey as my older sisters teacher, as a fellow thespian, and as the beginning to my inspiration. Although theatre students are so outgoing and crazy I feel like it has helped me in life. Where would I be without my crazy friends. It made me a lot more confident in who I was as a person. Theatre people tend to be a lot more accepting than any other group in High School. So when teen angst sets in its ok to wear the heavy eyeliner and dark clothes; it’s all about expression and experience. We explore so many different parts of the human life it is crazy, but it makes us better at what we do and what we seek to do: To have a sense of truth. I have had the chance to explore being so many different people… and it helps me to know exactly who I am. But, its always fun to pretend to be someone else, to become that person for a while. I have learned so much about people. Communication skills. No matter the circumstances, they are there for you, they are some of the most understanding people you will meet. They connect at the heart.
I am thankful for my theatre family & for how they’ve changed my life for good.

****NOTE : I feel like my writing totally failed in this post, i was exhausted when i wrote it. forgive me for being scatter brained

~Brielle

20 Years of Life Countdown ::: Introduction

I have had to do some things recently that quite possibly could be some of the hardest things I have ever done. God has been teaching me so much recently and I have been presented with many challenges on this road. I guess here is me realizing that these things all come because I have laid down my life and my wants to have God mold me into a Woman of God. So growing up hurts, and stings. I have only 7 days left as a teenager. I have experienced much and I know there is even more to come in the adult years. I am super stoked as well as terrified. So here is post one of 7. A count down to my 20th birthday. I will be reflecting on the most important lessons and memories from my adolescence. This means from age 13-19. They may not be in age order but I am going to try. You may learn some interesting things about me as well as hear some really great stories. I am apt to open up and would love to hear from you all :)

So I will post another post later this is just an Intro to day 7 which is today!

An Evening Prayer

Lord you know this heart of mine... Help me to know it as well. Amen.

Prayer

Prayer is one of the Christian disciplines that many of us struggle with daily. We all have problems with being a person of humility; not being able to set aside time in our busy lives to have intimate conversations with our creator. If you think about it, this life of ours that is so busy, isn’t ours to begin with. So when we set apart the time to engage in prayer we find it difficult because of the following reasons:

We are afraid to be bare before the Lord. In a time of prayer and one on one conversation it can be scary to lay everything completely on the table before Him. We think we can hide our lives but the truth is that God sees it all. Better us to lay it all down and be real with the Lord. He created us to have feelings and thoughts; if you know your friend is going on a first date you always want to have all the details although you can guess what happened. God wants the details and to talk with us.
We assume. When in prayer, if we pray about something once, sometimes we will assume that If our prayer isn’t answered the next day or right then that God said no. Or, we assume the answers before coming to the Lord in prayer about something. God is faithful and we are called to pray without ceasing.
Is God really there? At times people can feel so far away from God that they don’t feel Gods presence or they don’t think God cares about them. So what’s the point in praying when He’s not there? As we discussed in our Rhythm Life Group tonight, God is never more than even an arms length away and He longs to hear our voices speaking to Him.
Wrong answer. This somewhat agrees with assumption; we are afraid to get the answer we don’t want, most of the time its ‘no.’ We are unable to accept anything other than what we want, selfish right? God only wants the best for us, so He will always let His ‘yes’ be ‘yes’ and His ‘no’ be ‘no.’ Do not fear for the future because the Lord already has marvelous plans.
We don’t know how to pray or what to pray for. Struggles with praying for something when you aren’t even sure what is going on. Romans 8:26-28 says: “ In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Holy Bible, NIV).

It is essential to our walk and growth in Christianity to spend time in prayer. Prayer brings so many bountiful blessings, ones we could not even fathom. When we pray we can be at peace, I loved the quote from McDonnell that stated just this: “True rest is happening when we pause regularly amidst daily routines to sort out the truths and commitments by which we are living” (McDonnell, p. 196, 2003). When I find myself frustrated with urn-answered prayer I have to remind myself that the Lord is at work every moment, and He always knows what is best. A testament to that is when I fasted and prayed last summer for 2 specific friends and the prayers were carried out not instantly but over this year and have found themselves in full right now. I could not help but cry and thank the Lord for being faithful and showing me that I can rest in Him and trust Him to listen and answer prayer.

Finishing Well

I cannot even begin to express my excitement about Boa’s “Finishing Well” chapter and I will tell you why. This past Sunday afternoon I came home from church and laid around for a bit, then I got anxious sitting in the house so I put on my running shoes and headed out to Regent’s Campus to take a walk and I brought my bible. I made it to The chapel in the library and sat down to have some quiet time in the word. I was lead to verses about strengthening my faith. My whole summer theme is about strengthening my faith, seeking God to know Him so that I may know the woman that I am and will become. So over my quite time I read through verses about finishing the race. The Lord spoke to me that now is the time to run and strengthen my endurance for the road ahead, to run the race to receive the prize, “...all the runners run, but only one gets the prize…” (1 Corinthians 9:24, Holy Bible, NIV). So here I am finished with reading the “Finishing Well” chapter and I am just in awe. This is further confirmation of what the Lord spoke to me Sunday afternoon. I have just been strongly encouraged with the text. 

As for the seven characteristics of people who finish well I would rate myself accordingly, (1-10) 1 being in need of improvement and attention and 10 being where most of my efforts lie:

1. Intimacy: 7 - This comes along with discipline, I cannot be intimate with Christ if I do not discipline myself to commit to spending time with the Lord. Growing to know Him. I am slowly, but surely improving in this area, of spending valuable time with the Lord. 
2. Discipline: 4 - I have major trouble in this area. I was just discussing this morning with a close friend about how we are both very stubborn and set in our ways. So here is where I need to break the chain of being undisciplined. To practice with consistency so that I may being to live out the disciplines naturally.
3. Perspective: 7 - Over the past 2 years I have been pushed, thrown, poked, hit, and taken quite a beating by means of my own decision making and the trials that came my way as a result of my decision making. It has revolutionized my thinking and heart. I used to have a life with less anxiety and more freedom, but I lost that because I wasn’t trusting, I didn’t have strong hope. The need is to remind myself that God has it all figured out. “This personal knowledge increases our faith and our capacity to trust His character and His promises” (Boa, 453, 2001).
4. Teachable: 7 - When I discipline myself to learn and dig deeper I am teachable. I guess my interest has to be sparked most of the time. “In our youth, we have a problem with foolishness and lack of focus…” (Boa, p. 454, 2001).
5. Purpose: 8 - Such a big influence on my goals for this summer. Lord what is my purpose? Where lies my purpose in becoming this Godly woman? I love it!
6. Relationships: 8 - I have begun to develop many beautiful relationships with friends whom I invest in and they invest in me. There is Godly council and wonderful encouragement. I could not thank God enough. He is showing me which relationships are important for my growth and for this road I travel.
7. Ministry: 6 - 

I feel as though I am in a mediocre stage of my spiritual finishing well characteristics. I need to draw my own attention to the many areas that I have to work on.

Be Still...